Intolerant of Gluten Intolerance

After a recent trip away I have decided that there is definitely a market for a vegan tour company in this farm obsessed nation of ours. Twice we ate out and were very clear about our dietary needs, and twice we were served animal products - paneer (Indian cottage cheese) in the local Indian place the first night, and a very fishy tasting stir fry for lunch the next day (they repeatedly assured us no shrimp paste, no oyster sauce, but honestly, it tasted like sea shells). However, as we wandered around the small, south island town we were quite astonished at the number of places selling gluten free wares. There were signs everywhere declaring the gluten free nature of their meals and baked goods.

I understan that gluten intolerance is an allergy, not a diet engaged in by choice (though I'm sure at least some people are jumping on the dietary bandwagon) but it seems to me terribly unbalanced that so many places will cater to the GF diet and at the same time look at you like you're from another planet if you request something vegan. (Or vaygun, as they pronounce it)

And on the surface of it, I would argue that veganism as a concept is far easier to understand than gluten free. I first heard of veganism when I was ten years old, and though I didn't agree with the idea till 12 years later  (no ice cream?! Um, I don't think so!) I did at least understand what it meant. How hard is it to know which products came from animals and which do not? At the Indian place the waiter found it necessary to confirm whether or not we could eat both coconut milk (comes from coconuts!) and canola oil (comes from seeds!) but yet he saw fit to bring us fucking cheese in a meal he had confirmed mere minutes before could (and presumably would) be made without dairy.

Gluten free as a concept is actually quite confusing. Gluten an invisible ingredient is found in most types of flour (including, contrary to popular belief, spelt and amaranth and other fucked up hippy flour. Putting that shit in your "gluten free" baking is like serving yoghurt to a lactose intolerant person, it might be less problematic but it is kind of missing the point). Gluten is not found in corn, rice, or potatoes, so there are still plenty of things you can eat, but some products which have never contained gluten, such as corn chips  are curiously labelled "gluten free!!!" as the diet becomes more mainstream. The jury is out on whether or not oats contain gluten, so even the experts can't agree on some aspects of the gluten free diet.

In contrast, the vegan diet is fairly black and white, No Animal Products. Some vegans might disagree about things like  honey, or additives such as shellac, but for the most part it is reasonably straightforward. I have had people make bizarre kinds of rules to help them understand, like: "Oh, right you don't eat anything with a face" and that shit is just confusing. What the hell does a face have to do with it? I don't eat shellfish either and they don't have a face. I have also had people think that although I can't eat cows milk, I can eat for example feta, because it comes from goats (?!). Those people are probably just talking before they think, but it makes me want to hit my head against a wall. I don't eat ANIMALS or the stuff that comes out of them. I'm pretty sure the main differences between plants and animals were explained during primary school science. Were you away that day or something?

According to Wikipedia (a totally credible source as we all know, but bear with me) about 1% of the population suffer from clinical Coeliac disease with an additional .1% suffering from another major gluten intolerant condition known as dermatitis herpetiformis. Though I am sure that there are a number of other people that have had medical advice to eat a gluten free diet to treat other or related problems, I suspect that some are self diagnosed, trying it out or following the diet as some kind of fad. I am not sure of the statistics of the number of vegans in NZ, but in the United States, 1% of the population are thought to be vegan, and in the UK, 2%.

I am not disrespecting those people who choose to live a gluten free lifestyle (and certainly not those who absolutely MUST eat a gluten free diet or have been told to by a medical professional) I just find it odd that a dietary requirement that is confusing in it's rules and affects a little over 1% of the population is so readily catered for, when the vegan diet, which probably affects a similar number of people, and is reasonably straightforward in its execution, is virtually unheard of and poorly understood outside of the major towns and cities of New Zealand.

Additionally, and this might chap the assess of GF people too, I am sick of both diets being meshed together in some kind of confusing compromise that benefits neither party, though is possibly ideal for a (presumably even smaller) number of people affected by multiple allergies. I am sick of my vegan cookies being gluten free and GF people are probably sick of their cookies being vegan. I'm sorry but your fucking bread tastes terrible and dry and it crumbles all wrong, and to vegans, bread is pretty important and can usually be relied on to be animal product free. Yet I am served weird "bread" made out of rice when I eat in cafes, because the foodie types want to put milk in their bread and just make a catch all "alternative diet" bread to shut other people up. Once, on an 23 hour flight from Australia to Austria, my partner and I, at the time vegetarians, were served a meal that was at once vegetarian,vegan, gluten free and raw, and as such was exclusively comprised of vegetable sticks. We were fed this "meal" four times, and had to chase the bread basket around the plane, trying to get more than our fair share of croissants to compensate. This is just so the airline could make one meal for all those groups, catering to all and none at the same time. I could probably write a similar blog entry about raw diets too,  as I feel that these also further dilute public comprehension of veganism, but I will leave that for another time.

So although the market for it might be small, I think that a vegan tour company would be really nice for those people that need it. Repeatedly explaining your dietary requirements is really tiresome when you came to relax, and nothing can ruin a holiday quite like being fed stuff you don't eat. Whether you're allergic to it or not.