Just this weekend I met my latest nephew. He was a pretty relaxed little dude, he didn't cry, and he didn't smell, so we were cool. My brother in law says to my partner, "well, there's no squealing about how cute he is, so you're probably safe."
And he's right. But my ambivalent feelings towards the issue of child rearing are turning into more staunch ones thanks to the number of people who are suggesting I should/will have babies, which fucking annoys me. Polly Vernon is right, it is downright patronizing when people say "you'll change your mind".
I had a lecturer tell me I'd change my mind the other day. And he of all people should be the last to suggest that the intelligent, idealistic decision-making part of my brain will be trumped by some ridiculous, biological desire to pop out a few sprogs.
My sister-in-law posted on my facebook "what's wrong with babies?" after some thoughtless comment I made, and I answered with "the birthing process, for a start" but I could have gone on and on. I try to refrain from going too ranty on this subject, because Murphy's Law dictates I'll get knocked up and have to retract my ramblings.
But to support my strengthening anti-baby stance (anti-myself-having-babies that is, I couldn't give a fuck if you do it) I have been reading up on the subject on the internet at large, and found some wonderful points written by some forward thinking and clear headed women. Because the decision not to have children doesn't come from an emotional position, it comes from a rational one.
A very interesting piece described a vegan woman who decided never to have kids because of the ecological impact, echoing Doug Stanhope's insightful "Don't Fuck in the Front Hole" rant on YouTube. And as a vegan, this reason has definitely crossed my mind. Even beyond the content of the anti-vegan lecture I revived from a masseuse telling me "It's really important to eat right, especially if you're thinking of having kids." Not that I am, but thanks for the advice Ms. Nutritionist - no, wait, you're a masseur so why don't you SHUT THE HELL UP?!
Kids take up resources, and they might choose not to be vegan when they grow up, move out of home and do some procreation of their own. However, veganism in itself is not a reason for remaining childless as demonstrated by the Vegansaurus Happy Vege Kids Series - known to speed up the slow/non existent biological clocks of a generation of vegans.
In addition,and this comes from the position of a staunch animal rescue advocate, adoption is a far better alternative, morally. These kids already exist, on a planet overrun with human beings, and it makes sense to take these ones in (and make them vegan :P) rather than create more. Adopt, don't breed! Also, spay your kids.
Then there are the other lifestyle factors: Kids cost money. Fuckloads of it. And I don't think I'll ever make enough to feel like I ought to squander it on a tiny, loud human being. And time, I like my time. And sleep. Oh and I like to travel, and drink, and study and live in a squalid mess at times. Yeah, I'm selfish like that.
My grandmother describes my one childless aunt as "selfish" and said therefore she would have made a terrible mother. Not to suggest that I think my aunt is selfish, (I think a better word would be "sensible") but I feel, as an evolutionist, that the opposite would in fact be the case. Selfish animals make excellent mothers - always looking out for their own (genetic) interests, which off course, includes the interests of their beloved offspring! And fuck the rest of the world. Gwyneth Lewis's description of the four wheel drive as a "symbol of the desire to protect my family at the cost of everybody else" is the perfect example of this. I'm not sure if the cost to everyone else is that of physical endangerment due to the number of accidents involving four wheel drives, or the carbon footprint impact, but the symbol holds either way.
Again, to paraphrase Polly Vernon, what exactly is 'selfless' about having a child? I really can't stand the whole martyrdom of motherhood - like you're doing the world a favour by spreading your genes? Get over yourself. Similarly, I feel those "your mother gave you LIFE" sentiments a bit vomitous. Ah, she didn't do it FOR you, she either did it because she WANTED to, or you were an accident. And even if you were an accident there's a chance you were wanted to some extent, because babies on the whole, are actually quite avoidable in this day and age.
So to conclude, there a number of green/vegan/evolution/animal rescue based reasons why remaining child free is a valid choice. You can see I am a post grad student just by the number of references I have included here, please take the time to read them, even if you disagree with my thoughts. It might just stop you being the person who asks why a person is child free by choice, when the question should actually be, "why not?"
I'm childless so your kids will have enough food to eat, and clean air to breathe. That's why.
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